Classic definitions and cool meanings

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either".

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power ..

Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.